My Wife Journal #21

New Beginnings

08/01/2026 @ 12:12 P.M.





    As I am embarking on a new beginning in my life, I wanted to share a few things that has helped me understand my walk and purpose. As many of us who have endured through test and trials and overcome the wilderness season of our lives, we most times don't know what the wilderness will look like along the way. And when we don't know we can become anxious, tired, and start to feel overwhelmed of when it will be over, and question God's judgement of purpose. I have found this to be one of the greatest tests during my wilderness season because it helped me to deal with pride, hurt, pain, healing, anxiousness, and most importantly to completely trust in Christ. The moments where we just don't understand can feel like the world is closing in on us at times, and other times we may feel rich in spirit knowing He has all things worked out, and this back and forth comes from lack of faith and trust working against the flesh. The flesh will never be satisfied. That is why we must crucify the flesh daily. And in this time of preparation as we know the wilderness is preparation before the purpose; we come into the knowledge of why we had to endure through certain trials to get us to a place of purpose.

    What we must understand is that the wilderness is centered around PURPOSE! Our purpose is birthed out of what one goes through along the way in the wilderness and ultimately will help those around that are called to you, as they endure through their wilderness season. So, as I have been able to reflect on the last 7 years of my life, the Holy Spirit officially gave me the biggest revelation of PURPOSE!!! I went through 7 years of trials that at the beginning looked like I was living on top of the world, but ultimately could have very well been my downfall, had I continued down that path. This path is what brought me to my knees of repentance and set me on a path of unfamiliar territory that was enduring, and painful. It was agonizing, it was trauma to the mind, to the knowledge of what I knew to be true, and remaining steadfast on who Christ is. I wanted to end it all multiple times, I wanted to curse God, I wanted to try everything in my power to end everything that I was dealing with. The slander campaigns, the lies, the false accusations, the weird text, and emails, the following me around, walking away from my business, walking away from my home, the constant negative thoughts of being accused of when the adversary tried to get one up on me, all the way to the NOT signing on the dotted line. Because I chose to remain faithful to Christ and take the narrow path, I went through long suffering, I watched how my name was being slandered and things that has some truth to it, where being made to be used against me in the most negative way. As I sat back, and allowed it all to happen, I continued to pray and cry out to God as he strengthened me through the most trying time of my life. I remember most things, and as someone who has dealt with trauma, you tend to not remember other things until it arises. And for the last year and some change, I spent a large portion of that time frame making sure I knew that I had forgiven, healed, and let it ride. I understood that this pain had a bigger purpose that was intended to reach so many souls, but because of the lies it has deterred a great amount of people away that could know the truth, but because of fear of the unknown most have shun away from truth. And that is what my journey has looked like. I faced death, fear, and the unknown all at the same time and waited until God said move. And once I understood purpose, God said move. And that is why I am back on this ministry blog because of the timing of where we are at as a church, myself in Christ, and where the adversary who has tried to deter my walk is at this current moment.


    What we are not aware of most times, is that when we look certain things in the eyes like trials, and we overcome these trials it has to return back to where it came from. And as we are approaching that time frame, I understand this journey if more so now. See what the enemy meant for evil, God will turn it for our good. And when, I would study the word of God I was always drawn to the scariest book of the Bible. The Book of Revelation. I say that because that book was the absolute last book I would ever want to read over the years. Which has now become the most read book I have ever read and also came into the knowledge that the Book of Daniel may be just a little worse if you ask me. But, needless to say, the messages in scripture helped me to realize my walk as I too had to go through the last 7 years of my life of what the Church will endure when and before the signing of the 7-year peace treaty deal. The Lord allowed me to see this through the lens of my own eyes as I have been reflecting on each chaotic event that has taken place in my own life, so that I am able to understand this significant time that is shortly coming. The greatest test I overcame is, how to lead by faith even when things look terrible in the natural. See what we have to understand is that people like me, have to be in position in order to help the church through these trying times that are up ahead. We have to know what it looks like, to understand how to endure, and when I started these 7 years in July 2019, I had no clue as to who all was involved, and how things would look. Truth be told, I was still 3/4 in the world, but I could feel the tug on my heart to get right with God. What I came to understand, is that there was a system that wanted my soul before the start of this 7 year deal that was working behind the scenes to graft me in, and since I didn't go with what was thrown at me by way of trying to induce fear subliminally by knowing my past, and trying to use dark arts against me, that is when they went for the people around me, that secretly had some animosity toward me. These people came against me in such a way by way of manipulative tactics, and the practice of dark arts, that it could have very well shattered my entire life!!! But GOD!!! This path taught me what the valley of the shadow of death looked like. It taught me how; people will do anything when fear is instilled and money is in place not knowing it was meant to ruin someone else's life. It taught me the position of the church and what people will believe even when they say they love God but only practice a form of godliness. It taught me, how to move in silence, and the enemy to do what they're going to do because God makes our enemies our footstool. And at this point, I am only speaking on what I know what the church will endure.


    The church is going to go through some trying times, to the point where we will be faced with people who do anything out of fear, and because of money. We must know how to endure and stay strong in Christ even when we feel our faith is being tried and things don't look good at all in the natural. We must stand in the promise of who God said we are as the word speaks heavily on if we endure, we will receive the crown of life. So, in essence, through the most turbulent times of my life for the last 3.5 years I have been studying the word that is centered around the signing of the peace treaty deal, and the great tribulation. To where, I have officially completed the study and will be finalizing this teaching as I approach my 7 years of being tried and those who I love. And as the shift has begun, we will start to see this in the physical as the Lord positions me and moves those from my path who has caused some of those most heart wrenching times that could have ultimately caused things to turn in the favor of who continued to hold pride in their heart. But God saw differently, and used this as an opportunity to help me understand who I am, my purpose, and to be strengthened in areas that I was weak in. So as people start to gravitate to my teachings, and put into position, I want for you to understand that this did not happen overnight, nor did I just walk into this moment. I had to be crushed, refined, and renewed through the process. What's that saying? We don't look like what we been through. I can truly TESTIFY to that saying. This is just a testament of who God is, and how we all need him and will need him even more as we approach the year 2030. What I will say is this, my love for Christ supersedes all things. We have to understand what it means to not be moved by emotions including fear of the unknown. We have to understand that God is not to be mocked and when people try to put themselves in the position of God, he deals with them on a firsthand basis.


    So, in this next season, this season will be filled with pure PURPOSE!!!! PURPOSE of where God is taking me and what God is doing in the Body of Christ. One thing I will say to those who have caused one hurt, is REPENT!!!


    I know that my time of harvest is here, I can sense it, and now learning to embrace it, because I know the hand of God has officially moved in this hour, which is why I can write freely at this point. Before, there was hesitation, with a mixture of inadequacies, because of the season of preparation and finding who I was in Christ. And just as soon as these 7 years is completed in the next few days, I can see where the next will be. And I have stood through the test of time to be an example of what it looks like to be made over in the sight of the All Mighty!!! And as we draw closer to meeting in the physical, I pray that God has completely crushed, refined and renewed you as we will soon connect in the real!!!




Signed, 

Your Wife