My Wife Journal

Walking in Humility

August/5/2026 @ 6:27 P.M.

Song: I'm Still Here Artist: Dorinda Clark-Cole


    ****Before I get started on this entry, I just want to make a quick disclaimer. These journals are not in order AT ALL!! I see that I missed a few numbers in between, but the date is always the time and date that I started writing. And other times they're mainly not in order because the Holy Spirit will allow me to write the entry and schedule the post for a certain time and date. *****


    Walking in humility is not always easy when you want to be heard and know that you may be right. Sometimes the Lord will allow you to stay quiet while the murmur is happening for most times reasons that we cannot see. Humility is a road that I had to learn along the way on this journey when it comes to having less than others, losing things, and what I believe is that humility goes side by side with patience. I had to really humble myself in my walk because I lived my life like I had it all figured out. And the moments I didn't, I would figure it out in my own strength, so it looked like I had it figured out. But I quickly learned that through Christ, He teaches us how to really humble ourselves to where we are completely dependent on Him. And I'm not just talking about monetary situations. 

    In this hour, I'm speaking on when you have to remain quiet and humble yourself and allow the Lord to do just what He has always said he will do for his people. VINDICATE!!!! Overtime, remaining quiet has gotten a lot easier for me, because I learned that when you're quiet and remain before the Lord, you actually get to see his hand move in ways that it wouldn't have, had I spoke up and said something. I believe silence says a lot as well. It doesn't mean that you don't know, or you don't care, or that it is a weakness. As a matter of fact, if you can remain quiet when you know the truth and allow the adversary to do what they're going to do, then it is a sign of STRENGTH!!! That means you have taken time out to assess the situation and allowed God to be God and stay before the throne and remain humble. Humility doesn't always feel good at moments, because our flesh tends to rise up. However, it's how you handle that rise that determines your next steps, and what God will entrust you with. I couldn't just come back on here and start journal entries without making sure that Christ was not the focal point and that he was moving me to do this. I had to wait before I spoke on anything, because of the simple fact that; one God told me to, and two, because there were certain things that needed to be done and said before I could come on here and start connecting the dots. I had to be in a space of forgiveness, no bitterness, no resentment, no anger, and not easily moved on my emotions. I had to be in humility. Because we are all at fault some form or fashion in our own lives. I have asked the Lord for forgiveness on all I have done, in my past so that I can be in this heart space of full surrender to Christ. I had to learn how to love myself after learning who Christ was and those around me. I then learned what it looks like to love even through hurt, pain, betrayal, and still actively show it when I can see the intent of one's heart. I had to learn how to place the burden on the throne of God and not rely on how I feel in the moments when I wanted to step out of the will of God and act on my own behalf. I had to really dive deep inside myself and find who I am as a person. Who did God create me to be. 

    So many of us don't know who we are. WE have a form of some knowledge of who we are, but it's when you know Christ that you truly find out who you are. You learn how to walk away from things that don't serve any purpose in your life. You learn how to uphold boundaries and not compromise. You learn what it means to be diligent in the ways of the Lord, you learn how to be quiet, you learn how to speak, you learn how to move, you learn how to trust, you learn faith, you learn how to be grateful, and appreciative. My intimate moments with Christ taught me, this is where I draw my strength from, this is where you learn how to fight, this is where you learn how to process things and overcome. I am truly thankful for the things I experienced because had I not gone through any of this, I would still be trying to find myself, dead, or completely lost allowing people to use me how they wish. I had plenty of warnings before it ever got to this point. But you know what? I'm glad the Lord gave me another chance at life. True LIFE!!! And I can live to speak on it. And this is not to say that I was green to everything, but since I been in Christ, I learned that the world is not really what we think it is!!!! When we live how we want to, we are blind to the fact of what is really going on around us. We can't see ALOT when we are in the world living "OUR BEST LIFE"!!! We are truly just dumb in sin, not knowing from day to day, what's going on spiritually. 

    I think one of the biggest things the Lord taught me in all of this off top is PEACE, LOVE, & FAITH!!! I say peace, because when you have dealt with tormenting thoughts heartbreak, homelessness, losing things, walking away from jobs, betrayal, and you turn it all over to God, he then returns it with Peace!!! SO, if you give him your burden, then in return he gives you his peace. My yoke is easy and my burden is light, is what I'm reminded of. I say love, because the ones that hate you the most, show you how to love the deepest. Jesus never treated Judas any differently, knowing he knew the intent of his heart. Jesus knew that it was purpose in the hate, pride and greed that was connected to him. He knew that it was a burden but found peace in the purpose and still showed love. Can I say that I felt this way in the beginning? Absolutely not!!! I was beyond angry!! I would throw temper tantrums in the closet and snot nose cry, because the pain was unbearable. It was hard to stay quiet knowing the acts of what people are capable of especially when done to the innocent. How do you come back from that?? How do you overcome when you know truth??? You learn what love really looks like. Love is not an emotion in my eyes. It's an action. It's unconditional. The love that God has for us is shown through the acts of how he allowed Christ to come and die for our sins, for our own foolishness. God could have easily done away with all of us, even the ones that still have breath in their body, know him, but still choose to walk in the ways of the world. Love is humility, patience, kindness, longsuffering, meekness, gentleness. Love to is also fruitful. It gives way for those who are about to lose hope. It shines light on dark places, it gives sacrificially, love is vulnerable, and not selfish. Love is not weak, nor foolish. It is the greatest gift that we can offer one another, and most of us are so warped in our mind that we don't even realize how much hate we carry toward one another. I could easily sit here and hate for some stiff and valid reasons, but where would that lead or say about me? I had to learn these things through Christ, because I had moments before Christ where I was vengeful toward the people that I felt should have cared enough about my heart to not take advantage of it. And this is just me being real. But when you connect yourself with Christ, you learn how to walk in grace, because none of us are perfect. 

    When it comes to a woman, she has to be cared for right, she has to know that she is secure within the confines of her man, husband, and or king. She has to feel as though she is truly loved like Christ loves the Church and without that, a woman will retreat, lose the security of what it should feel like coming from a man that should be her protector and eventually shut down and grow cold. We have to understand that we are all emotional beings, woman more so than man, but in reality, we all hurt and have to weigh in on that hurt and when we suppress it, it can turn into anger, resentment, bitterness, pride, jealousy, amongst other things if it is not dealt with accordingly. And that is why I practice love faithfully. I say faith, because faith is what taught me how to not compromise, how to stay the course, and at the end of the test I understood that it is in the obedience, that gets you through the faith journey. I had to learn how to not complain when walking in faith, because if you trust God, then there is no reason to complain. I believe now, that when we complain, then we have not died to the flesh enough, and that's where that scripture in James 1:4 stands out the most. So let patience have its perfect work, in its entirety lacking nothing (paraphrasing). There is no patience without faith. And then there is humility. Such a graceful word although I did not mention this as one of the 3. I believe this comes in at #4. Where we understand through the first three how we are to walk in humility, because of what our flesh may want to do when we go outside of peace, love and faith. But when we stand on those three principles, we find ourselves practicing humility. Not in a form of being ran over by people, but in a form that honors Christ, and remaining devoted to who He is. 

    So, in all of this, I pray that you know what peace, love and faith looks like in Christ with a dash of humility as we gracefully come into a space of becoming one in Christ. I pray that your walk, has allowed you room to grow in those areas, where it keeps you grounded and loving even deeper when you feel hurt. I pray that the Lord has allowed you to have a peace of mind when things don't look the greatest in the physical, and I pray that you truly understand how selfless love is through the lens of Christ and allow humility to transcend in your walk with Christ. Until we meet in the physical, may the good Lord keep you in his perfect peace, with action of love, and a journey of faithfulness, with the heart of humility.


Signed, 

Your Wife