My Wife Journal #34

October 7, 2026 @ 8:00 p.m.



    I will keep this brief hopefully as I am in need of some rest. I decided to go ahead and do an entry tonight and just push through, so I may not have a song attached on this entry. I just finished cooking a Cajun Chicken and Turkey sausage pasta, so I'm a little full right now. Anyone who hasn't had a good amount of sleep mixed with early mornings, gym and late nights can really catch up with you at moments. So, I am pretty relaxed right now. 

    I've been reading the book of John for about two days, and there is a scripture that stood out to me. John 1:11: He came unto his own and his own received him not. And at one point I was one of those people that knew him not. And it pains me inside to even think that I lived my life as I pleased not realizing how fulfilling this life can be when you do know Him. Like you just find joyful moments in the smallest things. For instance, I'm excited about getting ready to bake some biscuits for the first time from scratch real soon. Prayerfully it goes well. I'm sure it will as I try to follow directions pretty well, so that it will come out right. Or the fact, that I can just have moments with the Lord and find a different kind of peace that I could never find in the world when I didn't know Christ. I truly believe this is the wealthiest part about life, is being in Christ. Many people look at wealth as what someone has in life and their assets, and bank accounts, but most of those people deal with some deep-rooted issues that money can't buy and tend to cover up those deep issues with what they obtain. Now, I know that God blesses his people financially as well. And that is the best way to obtain wealth is to have your mental in place and know the Lord so that you steward well over your money. When most who are not in the Lord who are rich in the bank accounts, tend to have hate harboring in their hearts and think money is power and use it to their advantage. OOOH goodness, here I go again. I was not trying to go into all of this lol. Honestly, I'm going to stop right here, because I need to be thinking clearly and get rest before I get on here and journal things. I'll be back soon:


My Wife Journal #35 

October 11, 2026 @ 7:39pm

Thank you, Lord

Song: More Like You Artist: Todd Galberth


    Okay, let's try this again. Now that I have been able to get some rest, I am thinking more clearer now and even have a song attached to this part of the entry. But the last few days have been promising. I was able to overcome a few more obstacles that have stood in my way for some time. I won't go into details on here, but I will say God is good. The fact that, I serve a good God is enough to say that He will direct our paths. I was thinking about the teaching I just completed about God's hedge of Protection, and I was just examining myself and how God has really cleaned me up and made me a new person. Because the fact that I can release videos without the push back of my own thoughts getting in the way says a lot about how far I have grown to overcome. Like I said before, I had a real struggle with speaking up and out because of having social anxiety. That is a real thing. And the more I teach, the more I speak, the more I find myself falling in love with what God has instilled in me, and what the enemy always tried to fight me on. 

    See many of us need to understand, where the adversary fights us, the most is where the Lord wants to use us the most. I remember there would be moments where I wanted to say things that meant a lot to me and I had a lot of knowledge on but refused because of anxiety, social awkwardness, or just afraid of what others would think. But I had to come to understand that when it comes to the Lord and after reading so many stories in the Bible about how God calls the qualified and usually it's someone like Moses who had a speech impediment to lead the Israelites, is when I realized that the Lord qualifies those who mankind wouldn't think would be a good fit for the position God has called us to.

     What's crazy is that we all know deep inside that we stay clear from certain things because what person is going to believe that God put us in certain positions because of the fear of what God has positioned us to do based on what we have challenges with. And what do you know? You get cleaned up refined, still have a few doubts here and there, but as you grow even closer to Christ you find that those things were just the adversary trying to keep you stagnated and preventing you from doing what God has always had inside of you. The Lord knew us since before conception. One thing we have to know and understand is that it's the renewing of our mind that sets us free. Which means at one point our mind was new, but once we entered this world born in sin and shaped in iniquity we then have to go through the process of the renewing of the mind. This is primarily why Jesus was not born by the seed of the man, because he had to come through a womb that never had a mans seed entering in so that he was not born in sin and shaped in iniquity. Because it is the seed that is passed on to generation to generation that shapes us into who we are. And when we are born by those that still have not dealt with sin and done away with things whether it be the mom or dad, we then take on the sinful nature from a spiritual standpoint to where we have to go through the process of being renewed and transformed to renew our minds. This is not to say that the father of Jesus was living in sin. What I am saying is that Christ had to come through the most purist form, and that was by way of the Holy Spirit placing His seed in Mary so that Christ could face sin head on and defeat it at the cross, in order for people like you and I to make a choice to be saved by Grace. 

    This is only the beginning though. The last several years I would step out speak on certain things and go back into isolation to be transformed even more each time I would step out. I would come back stronger, and bolder to speak each time. And here we are now, me looking at my videos and like I have really come a long way.  I am truly thankful, that the Lord gave me another opportunity at life, and building a life within Him. I can't say it was easy, because it was by far the hardest thing I had to do. I fought my flesh constantly, and in battle constantly because of how I wanted to feel comforterable when it was painful. 

    But in that suffering, it drew me in to a place of pureness, security, and peace. And honestly, I wouldn't change what I went through for anything, because of who I have become today. One of the biggest reasons why I share certain things like this set aside from sharing things with my future spouse, is that others will read this and understand that there is more to life than the worldly things we have dealt with. There is more to life than dealing with no end relationships, and people that misuse and mistreat you, there is more to life than being addicted to things that can lead you down a destructive path, there is just more to this life than what you may know in the state that you could be in now. And it takes someone like myself who has lived a life full of sin that overcame to come back and speak on it and to let you know that there is definitely more and the best peace you could possibly have when you surrender. And it's not about being perfect and stopping everything cold turkey, it's about your heart posture, and as you begin to surrender to give God your yes, he will guide you. You just keep coming to Him with your yes even if you mess up and surrender it. Give him your yes, and He will replace the worldly desires with His desires and before you know it, you will not have a desire for the world any longer. You will want more of Him like truly addicted to Him. There is not a moment that I don't speak on the Lord and make Him a focal point in any situation in any moment in my life because I know He has been the leading factor of where I am at now. And as you begin to walk with the Lord, you start to see how things that once held you back, will no longer be able to hold you back from what you were truly called to, and that is where PURPOSE becomes meaningful. So, I'll end on that note. Be Blessed and may the Good Lord make you more like Him!!!!


Signed,

Your Wife