My Wife Journal #34

My Wilderness Season

October 3, 2026 @ 4:21 p.m.

Artist: Tasha Cobbs Song: Forever At your Feet


    This song just does something for me every time I hear it. If you haven't heard it, please listen to it. It will bless you more than you know. This song describes my relationship with Christ when I'm in the ambiance of His presence. I remember speaking to a sister in Christ about how the Lord tends to clean us up to the point where He knows how much it will take to get us to place of surrender and knowing that you know that you don't want to turn back to the ways of the world. Like, where you just want to remain at the foot of his feet, through the good, the bad and the ugly. And my story is nothing short of all of the above. I experienced some heart wrenching times during my season of my wilderness, and of course the Lord showed me through various intimate moments of revelations of His perfect peace despite the long suffering. From the moments of being without, eviction threats, sleeping in my car, times where money and food was scarce, smear campaigns, lies, betrayal, addictions to certain things, and etc, the Lord really showed me through these moments of remaining at His feet looks like through the trying times. And as my next fellowship is centered around God's hedge of protection where we will focus on mainly the book of Job, I want to express the magnitude of how faithful God is as I have exited my wilderness season. 

    This season stretched me beyond measure, to the point where if you know about that show, Scared Straight, where the teens go to like maximum security facility and are scared to the point where they want to get their lives together because of what they experienced. Well, that was my walk on steroids, just a daily walk for the last seven years. A lot of it also had to deal with me interceding on behalf of certain things that someone I was praying for couldn't see and I would need to be in their close vicinity for the Lord's hedge of Protection because of what the enemy wanted to try and do in their life. For other moments, it was out of protection and consequences of my life actions, and other moments it was because I was being cleaned up and prepared. And this took the Lord taking me through some trying times. Do you know at the beginning of all of this when I finally said YES and rededicated my life back to Christ this last time around, the Lord told me I would go through turmoil back in 2021, but He didn't end with that. He said that turmoil is not always bad, because this kind of turmoil will help advance my Kingdom. And as much as I wanted to throw away and burn that paper up and put it out of my mind, I couldn't. As a matter of fact, I read over it just the other night, which lets you know I still have it. Because when anybody hears the word turmoil and it applies to your life, your flesh immediately wants to shut down and figure out a way to not go through the hurdles of life. 

    But with my yes, that meant that it came with everything that the Lord was going to allow to happen. And one thing about it is that like Job, the only way that Satan was even able to do anything to a faithful servant, is because the Lord allowed it. Alot of that is followed by the governing laws in the Kingdom, and when we are not a servant of Christ and leave our gateways open, meaning keeping sinful nature open in our life, we tend to fall subjective to the laws of persecution by the accuser of the brethren who is Satan. And other times, the Lord will allow things to happen to test us and build us and advance his Kingdom. And although I was dealing with my consequences of sinful nature, the Lord also tested me during this season. So technically I got a two for one special during my season of being in the wilderness, unlike Job where he was a faithful servant and was tested during his moments of turmoil or better known as the gift of the spirit long suffering. See without the enemy, how can the kingdom advance? I mean it can, but without an opps, the Kingdom of God would just always flourish and no need for advancement, but with sin, we need people like Job, to help advance the kingdom as a testimony of God's faithfulness and ours as well. 

    So, my wilderness season built a new refined woman to where when I look back as a reminder it keeps me on track of advancing what God put inside of me to help others. Within the last week I have gotten two confirmations of the timing of a certain task that the Lord has been preparing me for all this time, and as I know this is the end of my wilderness, I also know this is a beginning of conquering what the enemy has always tried to keep bound inside of me, and that is my tongue. Dealing with social anxiety is no joke. And from time to time, I catch I myself, but when the fear of the Lord is inside of you, and when you walk with the Holy Spirit, there is nothing that the enemy can do to make what the Lord has instilled in each of us stop what was rightfully given to us, and that is PURPOSE!!!! And even when you go through the wilderness season, you find who you are which is your identity, and your purpose. These days, most question why they're here, or what is their purpose. Let me tell you a secret, I did the same thing when I didn't know my true identity in Christ, But now, can't no one tell me who I am or not, and I don't have those questions, because I took the time to learn who Christ is, and in turn He filled me up with my identity in HIM!!! That's how it works. 

    Yes, the wilderness season is painful, but just think, you can't spend eternity with a perfect God with all of the imperfections you struggle with. You gotta get that all cleaned up and remain faithful in your walk, so one that He knows you by name and for two, that gives you a rightful place in His Kingdom when the time comes to spend eternity with him. It's just one of those things if you know about a healthy relationship you have to have boundaries, standards, and rules in place for it to remain that way, same with Christ, and His word gives us a blueprint of what His boundaries, standards, and rules are in order to maintain a healthy relationship with Him as he is a perfect God. Now He is not asking for any of us to be perfect, but we are to be above reproach, meaning blameless. But this season has finally ended, so now I am about to really embrace it by ending this entry and watching me a good movie for the night and get into my word and prayer before I go to sleep, to finish preparing for Fellowship. In the meantime, I prayerfully say this, that your time of being in your wilderness season is either ending or been over and you're able to embrace this shift of unexpected favor of God over our lives, because if He can do it for me, then he can do it for you. 


Signed,

Your Wife